from the album Swing 'n' Swive (2010)
music and lyrics: Joseph L. Thornburg

I make a lot of noise at night
A lot of howling at the moon
My master takes a stick to me
He goes too far, I lick my wounds

I like to sleep in my own filth
I like to piss all round the place
I ate a dead skunk in the road
And then I licked my master's face

If strangers try to give me shit
I'll bite off their motherfuckin' dicks
But master, you're the one that I trust

I like to crash his party scene
Wherein I lie upon my back
I flash his friends my genitals
For that I get a brutal slap

One time he got a little drunk
He kicked me down the basement steps
My forehead hit the concrete floor
A little nap is sometimes best

If strangers try to give me shit ...

One day he took a little trip
He didn't leave me any food
I had to eat part of my leg
I must admit it tasted good (I must admit, it felt good too)

I'm not the lovey-dovey romantic type
I don't expect a hug or kiss
I love him just the way he is
You see, I won't settle for bliss